Is Ethel a Social Introvert?

I tell people all the time that I am a social introvert, but often, they laugh it off, saying I’m too social or expressive to be anything close to an introvert. So here goes my analysis I want to know what you think.

I used to hate talking or associating with people, including my siblings when I was younger. I disliked interacting and being interacted with. But one day, I realized that the people who interacted more seemed brighter and happier compared to me.

Because I tend to think, analyze, and overanalyze everything, my moods were often affected. I felt less happy, more grumpy, and moody. So, for survival, I decided I would learn to socialize to get that sun-like glow extroverts seemed to have and the laughter that always surrounded them.

But starting out was difficult. People misunderstood my awkward smiles, unsociable responses, and my struggle to connect. I felt discouraged and exhausted, wishing I could go back to pretending I was a non-living thing.

Looking back, the first skills I cultivated were learning, self-awareness, and accountability. At my lowest, I saw no progress in myself, nor did I feel any change in my surroundings. But my fellow introverted friends noticed the difference in me. They said I was no longer the grumpy and moody Ethel they once knew. Not only did they love the change, but they also wanted to be like me to have that glow.

Thus, we continued the path to growth. Life has separated us, but I’m happy we all took those steps to become better versions of ourselves.

So, am I an extrovert or an introvert?

The answer: I am a social introvert.

I love my own company but also enjoy helping others when I have to. However, I draw strength and motivation from within. I socialize a lot, but afterward, I withdraw feeling drained, emptied, and in need of a recharge that only I can give myself.

I am not big on having people around all the time, but I love knowing I have people somewhere I can count on and that I, in turn, am loyal and available when they need me.

A comical relief: In university, I would hide under the bed just to study or read novels, avoiding people at all costs. I feel pressured reading or thinking deeply around others, so I avoid losing myself in my world in public.

Do you know I can create jokes in my head and laugh at them alone?

Or that I listen to songs and feel deeply inspired without needing to relate personally with the singer?

Guess what? If I have a role model, I prefer that they live far away from me and never know I exist. I’m simply satisfied knowing they’re doing well and inspiring me from a distance.

What About Social Media?

I tend to avoid it. Social media is great it offers opportunities for connection, learning, and growth. But, just like with humans, I need to withdraw to get re-energized and empowered.

At my core, I believe in learning, developing myself and others, self-reflection, and accountability. These values remain constant no matter what I do.

So, what do you think? Does this make me a social introvert? 🤔